One Fat Man's Fight

ONE FAT MAN'S FIGHT

Last year I went to the doctor's office for an annual physical. Part of the reason I was going to the doctor was because I was not feeling great.

As a coach I am always on my feet and sometimes in the course of a tournament weekend I may coach as many as 15 games. Afterwards, my feet and joints would be killing me.  I was constantly taking Advil to kill the pain and to reduce the swelling.   

The first thing the nurse had me do was get on the scale.  Over the last few years I had definitely let myself go and had put on a lot of weight.  The bad thing about it was that I was always justifying it to myself - "It's OK, you worked really hard today, you can eat whatever you want" I would tell myself.  

Not only was I eating a lot, I was eating a lot of crap - ice cream, candy, pizza and fast food.  Well when I got on the scale I was shocked.  I was embarrassed.  

In college I wrestled at 190 lbs and played lacrosse around 210 lbs.  When I saw 274 lbs on the scale I was devastated.  I knew I had to make some serious changes in my life.  

My brother-in-law Brian told me about a video he watched on Amazon Prime Video  called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" by Joe Cross.  Click below to watch the trailer:

In the film, Joe Cross is a man who is 100 lbs over weight who decides to change his life and lose weight through juicing.  Joe is also on many different types of medications and his overall health is terrible.  After watching Joe transform his own life and the lives of others, I decided to take the leap of faith.

I immediately went to Bed Bath and Beyond (with my 20% coupon of course) and bought myself a juicer.  When I got there I was amused to see Joe Cross's face all over some of the juicers.   I bought my juicer and then downloaded Joe's simple to use app - Reboot with Joe which allows you to customize your own plan for how long you want to do your juice cleanse.  

5 days is nothing I told myself so let's go with 5 days to start.  The app gives you a grocery list of everything you need to buy.  One quick visit to my local Stop N Shop and I was ready to start my juicing journey.  


I could feel the "here we go again" eye-rolls from my daughter's as I set up my juicer and loaded the fridge full of fresh vegetables.  They had seen me try and fail before with other fad diets and weight-loss gadgets.  They assumed this would be another hit and miss.

However, I had a game plan and I was ready to follow it.  

Like Mike Tyson famously said - "Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the mouth."  Well my punch was no coffee during the 5 days.  Anyone who knows me, knows I love coffee.  It's how I start my day - the smell, the taste, the caffeine -  the whole coffee routine.  I love it.  

5 days is nothing right.  Well the first 2-3 days were brutal for me.  I was in coffee/caffeine withdrawal.  I experienced headaches and I was definitely grouchy.  Joe Cross had said this might happen, but I was still unprepared.  

The moral here is quite simple - anything that is important to you in life requires hard work.  You also need to overcome adversity and have a plan for when you get knocked off your plan.  

My plan to help me stay on track was to go for a walk the first thing every morning while listening to powerful podcasts that would help me stay motivated.  Prior to this I had never even listened to one  single podcast even though my daughter Victoria had been telling me about them for a year or so.  I didn't even now how to listen to a podcast, but I did know the type of podcast I wanted to listen to.  

Years earlier I had gotten hooked on Tony Robbins and his audio book called "Awaken the Giant Within."  Tony had talked about the importance of exercise and having a morning routine.    I had listened to it before, but it did not have the impact on me that it had now.  I "re-listened" to the entire book and then I went searching for more motivation.  

I discovered Tony's podcasts  and I then I found a whole treasure  trove of other motivating podcasts.  One specific series I fell in love with was by Lewis Howes  called The School of Greatness.  It is done in an interview format and he has amazing guests on his show like Kobe Bryant, Rachel Hollis, Tim Ferriss and Tony Robbins. Click on each name to watch their interview.  

I started out walking a couple of miles each day.  However, the podcasts drowned out the boredom of walking and now I was actually excited to get up every day and go for my walk.  Very soon I was walking 6-7 miles each morning while listening to an awesome podcast.  I found myself taking voice notes during my walks about important points that I found interesting.  

Each morning I kept asking myself, how could I use some of the things I was learning to help all the girls I was coaching at Team Elevate and Holy Trinity High School.  

I wanted to be better.

After my first few days, the headaches went away and I started to feel better than i had in a very long time.  I had a whole new mindset!  I looked at  the juices I was drinking as really high octane fuel that was nourishing me.  At 5 days I decided to extend it to 7 days.  After 7 days I extended it to 10 days.  

After 10 days, I had lost 15 lbs and already felt so much better physically and mentally.  So much of weight loss and getting healthy revolves around your mental health and being mentally prepared to face the challenges.  Well at this point I had the perfect trifecta going for me or for you Rodney Dangerfield fans -it was the Triple Lindy - Healthy food, daily exercise and awesome mental health. 

Click below for one of the greatest athletic achievements of our time - the Real Triple Lindy!! 

The key difference for me was that I established a routine.  I had a plan.  And as with any plan, sometimes you need to tweak it and make changes.  My brother-in-law Brian also introduced me to another documentary on Netflix called "Forks over Knives" where two scientists discuss and detail how certain foods are actually killing us.  The trailer is below and it's definitely worth watching.  

In its simplest form, the documentary tells us that you are better off eating something that you can cut with a fork (vegetables) over something that has to be cut with a knife (meat).  Now I was not going to become a vegan but I was willing to make changes.  

A good friend of mine, Don Saladino is literally one of the most fit people I know.  Don is in insane shape and he lives what he preaches.  He is the founder of Drive Health Clubs and he is the trainer to superstars like Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds.  I always remember something Don told me when it came to eating protein - he said, "the less legs, the better it is for you."  So a cow has 4 legs, a chicken has two and fish have none.  Fish is therefore better for you.  

Just so you know that Don is the real deal, here's a shot of him on the front cover of Muscle & Fitness Magazine. 

So I developed a plan that worked for me.

In it's simplest form, here is what I am doing: Gluten free, Dairy free and no red meat.  

Gluten free:  Even though I am not allergic to gluten, it is amazing how good I feel when I don't have gluten.  It's also amazing how bad I feel when I do have gluten.  Today so many supermarkets have extensive gluten free aisles.  There are so many choices and you can still eat the things you love.  

No Red Meat:   If I am going to eat protein it is usually chicken or fish.  I also eat beans and edamame which are great protein sources.  Every once in a while - like twice in the last year - I have had some grass fed beef.   

Dairy free: After watching Forks over Knives it really changed what I wanted to eat.  The only dairy I eat now is when I have sour cream on my Chipotle bowls.

Speaking of Chipotle...I eat so much Chipotle I should be their spokesperson.  I love it because it's healthy.  My typical bowl is brown rice, both beans, fajitas, chicken, mild and hot salsa, corn, sour cream and guacamole.  I eat this 4-5 times a week.

Once I tell people what I am doing and what has worked for me, the next question I usually get is - have you stopped drinking alcohol.  And the answer is no.  Yes I drink beer and yes I know it has gluten in it.  

The bottom line is I found something that has worked for me.  And has it really worked - yes 100%.  I went from a size 42 pants down to a 34 waist size and I'm heading to a 32.  I used to wear XL in everything and now I'm either a large or a medium.

This morning I weighed in at 205 lbs.  I am one pound shy of losing 70 lbs.  I feel amazing, I have so much energy and I finally found a plan that truly works for me.

Now, do I ever go off track - of course I do.  In the past when I went off track, I would immediately throw in the towel.  That kept me in a vicious cycle of yo-yo dieting.  Now,  it's the mental training that brings me right back. One of the keys to my mental training has been meditation. 

I never even thought of meditating until I was at a conference run by one of my college football teammates and founder of Nantucket Nectar's - Tom Scott.  Tom is also the founder of The Nantucket Project and he invited me as his guest a couple of years ago.  The Nantucket Project is like a think tank and reminds me of a Ted Talk conference.  They had some amazing speakers, but the one who really blew me away was Deepak Chopra.  Deepak is one of the smartest people I have ever heard speak.  But that is not what blew me away.  What blew me away was that Tom had asked Deepak to lead the entire audience in a group mediation session.

At the beginning of the session I was super skeptical but as we went on, I saw how awesome and how valuable this could be for me.  Today, I use an app on my phone called Calm to meditate every day.  The great thing about this app is that it guides you through your mediation.  One of the things it always talks about is if your mind starts to wander away in other thoughts, let that thought go (without judgement) and come back to your breathing.  It gives you a plan to follow and a way to get back on your plan.

Now when I go off track with my eating, like I did this past weekend, I come back to my plan without any judgement and I restart.

I have done plenty of fad diets.  Right now all I hear about is Keto and Paleo.  Years ago it was low fat, then we had Atkins which was high fat.  What I am doing is not a diet at all, it is a lifestyle change.

Lastly, on one of the Lewis Howes podcasts,  I listened to an interview with Robin Sharma about his book The 5am Club.  The subtitle of the book is Own Your Morning, Elevate Your Life.  Well as the founder of Team Elevate, I immediately thought that this was karma and I had to learn more.  I loved his tag line because our motto is Elevate Your Mind, Elevate Your Body, Elevate Your Game and Elevate Your Life.

Now every morning, my alarm clock goes off at 5:00am, I go into my bathroom and put on my workout clothes that I laid out the night before, I go make a cup of coffee, put in my airpods, turn on a podcast and I am out the door by 5:10am on my way to a 6-7mile walk.

That's my routine.  Is it hard - sometimes.  What is even harder is being Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead.

Can anyone do it - ABSOLUTELY yes.  It's pretty simple - get up early, exercise right away, self-reflect through a personal journal and meditation, eat healthy and love life.

If I was going to ask my players to Elevate Your Mind, Elevate Your Body, Elevate Your Game and Elevate Your Life - how could I not be leading by example?  "Do as I say, not as I do". I was not being credible.  Now I'm walking the walk, literally, everyday.

I love what I do and there is nothing better than being able to help young student athletes be the best they can be.  Every morning I get up and I ask myself one question - how can I help my girls and who can I help today?

Thanks!

A much slimmer and healthier Coach K

The Little Things Matter 

By Dave Kotowski 

This week starts a whole new chapter in the athletic lives of many of our girls - the start of tryouts for high school lacrosse.  Some of you will be trying out first time ever and some of you will be trying out again.  Either way - your experiences will be new and different no matter who you are.  

For those of you trying out for the first time I am sure you are super excited and also a bit nervous.  Being nervous is totally OK because nerves are a good thing - it means that whatever you are doing is important to you. Your nervousness will go away as soon as you start and the reason it will go away is because you are READY.  Just think about all of the hours that you have put into playing this awesome game of lacrosse.  The practices, the clinics and the camps have all prepared you.  

Some of you will be trying out for the 2nd, 3rd or even 4th time.  Hopefully you are not as nervous as when you first tried out, but just remember there are plenty of girls who are in the same shoes you were in once.  As leader it's important to remember these things because it's your job to help those girls who are trying out for the first time.  Remember how you felt the first time.  Maybe an older player made you feel better by some simple words of encouragement.  Maybe they did some "little thing" to help you.  

I'd like to talk to you about the "little things" and why they matter.  In the course of your life, in the course of a year, in the course of a month, a week, an hour - you are going to find out that the "little things" matter a lot.  

33 years ago, on January 28, 1986 the entire world would come to now just how important one "little thing" could be.  

The space shuttle program was launched by NASA in January of 1972 and the first ever launch was on April 12, 1981.  A lot of money and planning went into making that first launch a success.  The space shuttle program was focused on re-usable spacecraft that would be used to build space stations for the United States.  NASA and other government agencies were at the forefront of space exploration and the USA was the world leader.  

Billions of dollars were allocated to this program.  Hundreds of missions were successfully flown and the United States and NASA trumpeted the space shuttle program as a success.  Unfortunately all of this success came crashing down on January 28, 1986.  

The Challenger space shuttle was originally planned to launch on January 22 but was delayed 5 times due to weather and technical issues.  After a two hour delay on January 28th, Challenger was cleared for liftoff at 11:38am.  72 seconds after liftoff the entire world would watch in disbelief as the Challenger exploded.  Among the crew was NASA's first ever civilian astronaut Christina McAuliffe.  She was one of 110,000 applicants who all wanted to be the first civilian in space.    

McAuliffe's students along with a live audience and millions of viewers on TV watched in horror as the entire crew of 6 Astronauts - Gregory Jarvis, Judith Resnik, Dick Scobee, Ronald McNair, Mike J. Smith and Ellison Onizuka along with McAuliffe all perished after the Challenger exploded.  

After a formal investigation and a rescue mission that cost over $12 million dollars, the cause of the crash was determined to be a faulty .75 cent O-ring.  

One .75 cent O-ring  - a "little thing" would bring down the Challenger and take 7 lives with it.  The "little things" matter.  

So as you get ready to take the field this spring I'd like you to keep in mind all of the "little things" that you can do that can make a difference for you and your team.  

I saw this graphic a few years ago and I thought it was fantastic then and I wanted to review it with you now.  On this list - there are a lot of "little things" you can do to differentiate yourself and help make you, your teammates and your team better. 

Being on Time: This specific topic relates specifically to all of our high school and middle school athletes because you are 100% percent in control of this.  Younger players are relying on their parents to get them to practices and games on time.  For those of you playing school sports, it is really simple - be on time.   

As soon as school ends, hustle to the locker room and get ready right away.  Don't dilly dally in the halls, don't check your Instagram account, don't send out texts messages that can wait - go get ready.  BE ON TIME!  Your coaches put a tremendous amount of time into planning your practices and your schedule.  I personally spend hours planning, watching video, creating plays, writing up practice plans and drills all to be ready on time.  All coaches want from you is to be on time.  

Now if you can't be on time - let your coach know ahead of time.  Communicate with us - keep us in the loop rather than surprising us.  

Champion's Tip: Be the first one on the field every day.  Get out there early to put in some extra work on the things you need to be doing.  Your coaches will see you, your teammates will see you - but maybe most importantly, you will KNOW that you are working hard towards your goals.  

Work Ethic, Effort, Energy: I combined these 3 topics together because I think they are very similar in nature.  The beautiful thing about the "3 E's" are they are literally 100% in your control.  I used to tell my own daughters that there would be days when you may not be on your "A" game and you might struggle a little.  On those days it was so important to make sure that you worked your butt off, gave 100% effort and maintained a positive energy at all times.  

Jon Gordon is an awesome author and motivational speakers.  In his book The Energy Bus he talks about "Energy Vampires."  These are the Debbie Downers of the world (watch this hilarious Saturday Night Live skit below and get ready to laugh)! 

They can literally suck the energy out of a room.  Don't be the person who is an energy vampire - be the opposite.  Be the person who lifts up your teammates.  The Positive Coaching Alliance talks about our emotional tanks and how important it is to help keep each other's tanks full.  When I first started coaching girls I heard a great quote - "Boys feel good when they play well, girls need to feel good in order to play well."  Help each other feel good! 

Champions Tip: Work hard all the time, be a vocal cheerleader for all of your teammates, never give up no matter what you do.  If you see someone who is not having a good day or made a mistake, be the first person to lift them up.  When you lift up others, the world will lift you up as well.  

Attitude & Body Language: This past summer I was playing in a master's lacrosse game up in Lake Placid.  It was a really tight game with playoff implications.  I made a bad play and immediately cursed out loud.  I received a 1 minute penalty for cursing and the ref came up to me and said, "hey - this Lake Placid,  we don't accept that stuff up here.  It's a family environment and there are kids everywhere."  I had two immediate reactions.  At first I was upset with myself because not only had I gotten a penalty because of something I did, but it was totally avoidable if I had controlled my attitude.  My second reaction, was actually being grateful to the ref for the way he had spoken to me.  It made me realize what was really important - honoring the game and being a role model. 

Luckily for me, the rest of the defense and our goalie bailed me out and the other team did not score while I was in the penalty box.  As soon as the penalty was released I ran back out onto the field and headed right for the ref.  I immediately apologized to him and I also thanked him.  He had given me a quick lesson of what was really important.  Control the things we can control.  

We will all make mistakes - no one is perfect - how we handle those mistakes says a lot about the person you are.  Don't curse out loud like I did, don't slam your stick, don't hang your head - instead, erase the mistake by going out and making the next play.  

Champion's Tip:  Find a teammate that you really trust and ask them to be your Attitude Partner.  The two of you are responsible for keeping each other positive.  When one of your makes a mistake have a routine that you follow to erase the mistake - flush it down the toilets or brush it off - so you can move on to make the next play.  If you can do this as an entire team it would be amazing! 

Being Coachable, Being Prepared & Doing Extra: As a coach I truly want ALL of my players to keep getting better and I want to try and get the most I can out of every player.  Being coachable is one of the most important aspects of being a top student-athlete.  What actually is coach-ability?  It's actually listening to what your coach is saying - not just to you but to everyone - and putting their words into action.  

I can't tell you how many times I have stopped a practice for a "teaching moment."  A time where I can impart some wisdom, a specific technique or a mindset for my players.  The way I handle these moments is to speak to the entire team including anyone not in that specific drill or game situation.  I may be talking to one person, but I am talking to everyone.  Way too many times, immediately after stopping a practice to discuss a specific point, a different player will make the same mistake on the next play.  Like I said, everyone makes mistakes.  But when you make the same mistake that the coach just spoke about - that is not being coachable.  You were not listening, you were not taking your coach's advice and directly relating it back into your own skills.  

Champion's Tip: Great players need to be able to do two important things as it relates to this topic.  The first is be a great listener.  If your coach thinks it is important enough to stop a drill or practice to talk about something, make sure that you zero in on what they are saying and repeat it back to yourself so you remember it.  Coach's love seeing their players put into action the the things we teach them.  Secondly, if your coach tells you you need to work on something, devote some extra time to mastering it.  Don't be afraid to ask your coach for specifics in what you need to do.  We are there to help you! All of this will help you be the best prepared.  

Passion: I left passion for last, because for me it may be the most important.  According to the Urban Dictionary: Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind body and soul into something as is possible.   Everything we do in life requires passion.  If you are not passionate about what you are doing then I would tell you to stop doing it.  

Every year I get a call from a player who tells me that they are not going to play lacrosse anymore.  Oftentimes I think they are nervous to call me and tell me this because they know how passionate I am about lacrosse.  But here is the truth, yes I am passionate about lacrosse, but that is not what drives me.  What really drives me is that I am super passionate about helping every young student athlete that I come into contact to be the best they can be in whatever they do.  If it's being a great lacrosse player -awesome.  If it's being a great dancer or actor or scientist - awesome.  

My conversation with players who no longer want to play go much differently than how they thought it would go. I always thank them for their commitment, I thank them for their courage and then I ask them for a favor.  I ask them to find something that they are super passionate about and chase after it like their life depended on it.  And I also ask them to keep me posted on how they are doing.  

It doesn't matter what you are passionate about - it just matters that you have a passion.

Champion's Tip: Take some time on your own to really think about what you love to do.  Do you love to play lacrosse?  If so write down WHY you love it.  What are the things about it that make you so happy?  Keep your note on your phone so that on days when you don't really feel the passion, you can open up your own note and remember WHY you love it.  Our WHY will always help us is with our HOW!!

All of the things above are "little things" that lead to big results.  All of these are in your control so give them the focus you deserve.  

Since I'm a lacrosse coach I feel like I have to give you a quick list of lacrosse related "little things" for you to do/remember:

* Hands choked up on the plastic on ground balls

* Run through ground balls - Remember, "ground balls saves lives!"  (Footnote: Nancy Kotowski)

* Be a loud communicator. More communication = better play

* Sprint to every shot out of bounds

* Be the 1st person into the circle on the draw

* Play defense with your feet first and your stick/hands second

* Choke up with both hands when catching the ball for better eye hand coordination

* Give a goalie a fake before shooting

* You always have more time than you think you do - good decisions lead to good plays

* Finish every sprint and don't cheat.  Inches become feet, feet becomes yards.  

* Playing Time - if you want more playing time, ask your coaches what you can do to "earn" more playing time - never demand it.  Work for it. 

I could go on and on with this list.  Just remember that all of these small things all lead to bigger things,  Just imagine how good your team could be if each and every one of you focused on doing the 'little things" really well.  

Have a great season and know that we are always here for you - in good times and in bad!  

Elevate Your Mind * Elevate Your Body * Elevate Your Game * Elevate Your Life

Coach K